Friday, January 19, 2007
My Fear, My Dread
A shock, cool and electric, starting in my head like an earthquake that runs through my whole body, causing only the slightest of shivers to be outwardly visible. A fear. It seeps under the doors of my mind like a noxious gas, slowly paralyzing my senses. I have to close my eyes, just for a moment, to let the tremors pass, to let my breathing return to normal, to loosen the constriction in my chest. Weights descend on my shoulders and chest, despite the fact that I am vertical. A feeling like rising bile restricts my breathing and coils in my abdomen like a viper on a sun-warmed rock, though my stomach feels anything but warm. It’s my worst fear, fear itself and it’s a physical pain in my body, coursing through my blood.
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5 comments:
I enjoyed your descriptive paragraph; I loved how you used your words, and love the adjectives you used. To describe one thing, I was just like it was in a book.
Good description, but I have no idea what's going on. You need to give at least hint of what is going on.
The mood in this seems that you are afraid. "A shock, cool and electric, starting in my head like an earthquake that runs through my whole body, causing only the slightest of shivers to be outwardly visible." Usually when people get afraid they shake or get shivers. The words and metaphors that you use are powerful because they all have a relation. First you talk about an eletric shock, then you say it is like an earthquake that causes you to get the shivers. It is simply great use of words.So after I read the first part the mood was that you were afraid, but of what. After I read on I kept on thinking that your fear or what you dreaded was fear. Through out the entire writing you used great metaphors like the quote I put above. Then at the end you say "It’s my worst fear, fear itself and it’s a physical pain in my body, coursing through my blood." The way you said everything was great. The reason why I really like your work is because of the way you wright. I know that you have been doing this for a long time, I know that you love writing. When you wright it really shows, your love for books, writing and reading.
I really liked the way you used the words "cool" and "electric. They both kind of have that shivers-down-your-spine sort of feel, and when paired together it's really strong.
I really like your use of the word "symphony" to describe the rain. It makes it feel conducted and beautiful, not as random as we generally see rain.
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